I’ve wanted to write but just couldn’t find the energy. Last week I took dad home for the last time. I picked up his urn and took it home to mom. That was hard. Seeing Dad’s unopened saltine crackers sitting next to his favorite chair was hard.
But tomorrow is the day we say goodbye. Seeing him go through all of this, watching him die, it was all hard. But this is so very final. He’s not coming back. He will never be with us in body. While I know that he may be here in spirit, I can’t feel him! I can’t feel him. It’s very blank and empty.
Tomorrow our family and . friends will gather to say our goodbyes. I’m not ready. I don’t know that I could ever be ready. My heart is raw. There are so many thoughts and emotions that I can hardly get any of them out, which is why I haven’t written. Swirling crazy, all encompassing, fast, furious, indescribable. I wish I could get it out here but I can’t put it to words.
Tell me, what does it look like in heaven?
Is it peaceful? Is it free like they say?
Does the sun shine bright forever?
Have your fears and your pain gone away?
‘Cause here on earth it feels like everything good is missing since you left
And here on earth everything’s different, there’s an emptiness
Oh-oh, I,
I hope you’re dancing in the sky
I hope you’re singing in the angel’s choir
I hope the angels know what they have
I’ll bet it’s so nice up in heaven since you arrived
So tell me, what do you do up in heaven?
Are your days filled with love and light?
Is there music? Is there art and invention?
Tell me are you happy? Are you more alive?
‘Cause here on earth it feels like everything good is missing since you left
And here on earth everything’s different, there’s an emptiness
Oh-oh, I,
I hope you’re dancing in the sky
And I hope you’re singing in the angel’s choir
And I hope the angels know what they have
I’ll bet it’s so nice up in heaven since you arrived
I hope you’re dancing in the sky
And I hope you’re singing in the angel’s choir
And I hope the angels know what they have
I’ll bet it’s so nice up in heaven since you arrived
Since you arrived
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C4dci4Z7p6A
The Cancer Chronicles 