Hey Dad. You’ve made it another day, which means another day to fight this. So much I want to say to you. Mom and Rob want to be very cautious on how much we say to you so you don’t get frustrated. That’s very hard for me. If it was me, I would want to know what is going on. The not knowing would upset me. On the other hand, I understand that not saying anything has benefits. But I will let that go for now,so I don’t drive myself crazy.
Logan is worried about you. He asked me how you would learn to breathe out of the correct nostril with only one lung. His thought was that each nostril went to one lung. I explained how all that works but I find it interesting how his mind works. He wants to see you badly. Mom suggested I take video and picture to prepare him,which I did. I talked with the kid support person at the hospital. They’re very supportive of him visiting. They have put toys in your room for Logan. He will get to color your window for you. Actually, I really want to do that too! Friday Daimion will get to see you. Either Saturday or Sunday I will bring both boys.
I’m getting married! you don’t know that yet. I wanted to tell you today but wasn’t sure you were truly seeing me. So I will wait. Ken and I are prepared to have the ceremony any time. Rob will officiate. Most likely it will be in your room. But Rob had a point, that we can wait just a little bit to try and make sure you are truly present. Damn Rob for being all facts and figures! But he’s right. I would much rather you be cognizant of what is going on. Ken and I decided that life is too short and tenuous. We’ve talked about it for some time. The “perfect” wedding for us. But the rings, the clothes, the llamas and wedding clowns (just kidding – sport of) don’t mean anything. What truly does mean something is our dedication to each other and having our family there. Ken wants us both to have the same last name, but I don’t want to give up Gilchrist. So after some media polls and talking to family, I think we’ve settled on the last name Gilchrist-Overlock. We will both take that name.
This has been very difficult. I can see the sores in your mouth. I put chap stick on you but your mouth is so raw. I can’t fix this. But I am here to love you.
You are my daddy. My hero. My friend. And while we had a serious scare, every day is a new day to fight. I am doing what I can to be supportive. I sometimes fail. I can only handle so much. It’s hard. And I worry that you have thoughts and ideas and questions but you’re unable to communicate. And I don’t know what to do with that.
Anyway, I love you. And I need you. We all do. Just keep fighting!
The Cancer Chronicles 